Our Faith in Doctors can be dangerous

I thought I was over this. Once again a doctor has made me scared.

A routine eye exam with my daughter, just making sure she doesn’t need glasses and that the vision in her right eye isn’t getting worse. When she was two she was diagnosed with strabismus. It’s a lack of convergence of the eyes so it makes it difficult to focus on an object or see properly.

For my Zoe, this means that she’ll be walking along and walk right into something or trip over a curb on the street. She’s a trooper, she doesn’t cry and just pops right back up with a smile on her face but it makes my stomach sink every time.

As the doc told me yesterday, if the two images from the right and left eye aren’t similar, the brain can’t put them together and use that information. I always knew that the brain did this magic trick where the image from the left eye and the image of the right eye formed this totally new picture that in reality didn’t even exist. If we think of Wayne’s world,” camera one, camera two”, this is what the brain has to do to integrate both images.

So this is all good, the appointment is humming along, I’m forecasting a lollypop for good behaviour. That’s when she hits me with the suggestion that Zoe wears protective goggles.

What… Why? That was my reaction.

This would be to make sure that her “good eye” doesn’t get poked out or something leaving her with no good eyes in the good doctor’s opinion.  Okay so they would be regular glasses but that’s not the point. The point is that once again I’m made to FEAR something bad happening to my daughter.

So frustrating.

This fear-based approach made me more than a little angry because it brought back the totally unilateral recommendation to pull the plug on Zoe after her devastating MRI results came back nine years ago.

If I had listened to the Doctor’s opinion and recommendation years ago, Zoe would of slowly been dehydrated to death. All under medical supervision.

I am so disgusted with the medical practices at times.

Nine years ago was one of those times and yesterday just reminded me of the thought process that can create havoc in one’s life.

Let us spread some prevention and hope instead of fear when caring for ourselves and our children.

I refuse to accept this opinion even if she went to medical school. I choose to trust my gut instead of her fear-based intellectualization of the situation.

For parents dealing with a special needs child, my heart goes out to you. We think we’re over getting upset by what doctors say to us but in order to make a good decision. We have to take in all the information and make a decision for what’s best for our child.

If I might share advice from what I’ve learnt along the way: Trust yourself first and foremost. Your gut will guide you.

Contact me at 647.801.2424 for a free thirty-minute ‘Heal your Heart’ consultation. I’d be happy to assist in clearing out the old pains in a painless way.

Hey Doc, Fix Me!

Are you in the healing profession? I mention this because there are therapists, myself included, who have come across a few, if not, many clients who walk in and place all their “stuff” on us. They say: “Hey Doc, fix me!” and then get angry, blame and even hate us when we can’t magically take their pain away. You might be reading this as a psychotherapist, naturopath, holistic healer, massage therapist or dietician in clinical practice who is frustrated or defeated in your efforts to help clients achieve their goals. This short blog is about clinicians knowing that, however seductive it is, they must not take on the responsibility that belongs to their clients.

Clients Must Take Ownership

Let me give you an example from my personal training days. I had a client looking for weight loss who was 60 pounds overweight. She would do the work in the gym twice a week, but would be desperately clinging to her late-night bread and butter habit. Yet, she would continue to point the finger accusingly in my direction every time the scale shifted in the wrong direction. She thought that hiring a trainer meant she didn’t need to take ownership of her eating habits.

In the healing professions, it’s the same thing. If a client is coming to see you regularly and is committed to the process but they’re not willing to do the work you recommend, take the supplements you prescribe, or become open to seeing things in a different light, then your client won’t get very far and you’ll both hit a wall.

Healing Professionals Don’t Do the Work for You

So, go see a healer, naturopath, or psychotherapist. However, don’t expect us to take on your stuff and fix it for you. We don’t do the work for you and are not responsible for you. We advise, teach, empower and care. Healing professionals do many things, but what we can never do is be in control of your decisions. You wouldn’t want us to be anyway.

When a client isn’t finding relief as quickly, they might point the finger at you. They might blame and hate you without even realize they’re doing it.  I’ve done it, we’ve all done it. All we can do is be aware that it’s happening and ease up on ourselves and others. Our karma is strong, and it wants to survive at all costs. As therapists, we need to keep this in mind. Not at the back of our minds but at the forefront because we are really coming face to face with it.

CFQ Qigong Teachings

In my practice, I’ve incorporated the teachings of CFQ qigong which say to stay down and stay grounded in your body rather than your mind. This technique teaches you to stay there no matter how loud the call is.

Take Responsibility for Yourself

Ultimately, it’s up to each and every one of us to take responsibility for our “stuff”. Stop blaming, shaming or getting angry at others for our own blocks. The sooner we take responsibility, the sooner we see results.

Regardless of your area of expertise and professional training, the message is the same. No matter how much we care about our clients and want to help them to get past their current issue, whether that’s depression, trauma or an illness, it’s not up to us to do it. We are here in the session; we are present and we are doing our jobs to the very best of our ability. I don’t accept clients who are trying to put the responsibility on me for their healing, that is ultimately up to the individual. If they can’t take responsibility for themselves, we can’t and shouldn’t try to do it for them.

Why Taking on Others “Stuff” Isn’t a Good Idea:

  1. Doesn’t work
  2. Drains our battery
  3. Doesn’t help them if they’re co-dependant on you for their well-being

Let’s Connect

If you’ve had an experience with taking on other’s “stuff” I’d love to hear from you! Click on ‘contact us’ page and shoot me an email with your story. You’re not alone in feeling like sometimes you can never do enough to help your clients. I am here to say, be responsible for you and let them be responsible for themselves.  That’s all we can do.

Healing Trauma in Children with Trame Vibrational Therapy

Has your Child Experienced Trauma? 

First of allyou’re not a bad parent. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control and as parents we simply do the best we can in the circumstancewe find ourselves in. Helping heal trauma in children is a topic that I take very seriously.  

In fact, mown daughter had a brain injury at birth resulting from oxygen deprivation. The cord was wrapped tightly around her ankles and doctors didn’t detect it until I was in labor. So – I hear you! I know what it’s like to want to do everything in your power to help your child heal. 

As parents, we always want the very best for our kids. But what can you do if your child is too young to talk through their fears or challenges? Luckily, I have a highly effective, yet gentle treatment to offer you – it is called Trame Vibrational Therapy. 

How Can Trame Vibrational Therapy Help your Child? 

This is a gentle hands-on treatment that takes between 15-35 minutes depending on the age of your child. This treatment resets the nervous system and clears out cellular blockages. Blockages are caused by unresolved emotions, physical injury and negative beliefs. This treatment will also re-align the body’s blueprint. This blueprint controls all of the information and energy that travels through the body and organizes the body from start to finish. 

After a traumatic experience these blockages can get stuck in the body – thus creating chaos. Children and even adults can find it extremely challenging to describe what they are feeling inside. Once the treatment is over, balance is restored and cellular memories and blockages left behind from trauma will be cleared out. Then, the body will undergo an integration period that lasts up to forty days. During this time, the body will adjust to its new conditionin order to reach its natural harmony and state of empowerment once again.  

What is Involved in this Treatment? 

For children, this treatment may involve talking, moving around, and an ebb and flow (depending on the child). This is so that we are able to get all the hand positions completed. 

I’ve treated children that have experienced serious trauma such as – the loss of a parent, kids who have been bullied or made to feel unaccepted by their peers, and even those that wanted to avoid taking medication for their symptoms. I also have extensive experience working with children with severe autism.  

I invite you to share your experience or ask questions in the comments. You can find us on Facebook, Instagram and join our newsletter for health inspirations and tips. My YouTube Channel is also an amazing place to connect and learn. 

To our health & wellbeing, 

Madeleine 

Paralysis of Perfection

Do you ever feel like you need to be perfect?  Like you haven’t “figured it all out” yet. And even when you reach your goal you still don’t feel that sense of accomplishment.

Many people wake up each day judging themselves because of what they look like, comparing themselves to others or being hard on themselves for not measuring up to their own high standards.

The obsession with perfection isn’t something you’re dealing with alone. It’s a tendency that is rising in our youth today. According to the study published in the journal Psychological Bulletin:

“more recent generations of college students reported significantly higher scores for each form of perfectionism than earlier generations.”

We compare ourselves to filtered idyllic pictures on social media or to a friend or colleague who, from the outside, seems to ‘have it all’ and then we feel ashamed, isolated or even depressed and anxious when we don’t measure up.

Do you ever feel it’s easier to mask or push down those emotions so that you don’t have to deal with them? Is talking about an issue difficult for you?  Vulnerability can be scary and sometimes we simply don’t have the words to adequately describe what we’re feeling. The truth is we all have moments, days or even years spent in survival mode. When we really aren’t living our ‘best life’ as Oprah loves to say.

We’re Not Here to Be Perfect

The truth is we’re not here to be perfect. We’re here, in my opinion, to discover who we really are and be that out in the world. We don’t have all the answers and who are we to judge ourselves as we figure that out? Isn’t that why we’re here; to learn, grow and find out what gives us the most satisfaction?

Isn’t it time to let go of perfection and be true to ourselves? We learn by screwing up and the more we resist the mess, the longer it will take to learn that lesson. 

I believe that if we pay attention to what our emotions are trying to tell us and are aware of our effect on those around us, we can make little refinements each day, not to be perfect but to be ourselves with complete acceptance, warts and all.

When I see clients in my practice increase their self-awareness, soften their expectations of themselves, it helps me to deepen my belief that change is always possible, that no one is stuck in their perfection and that there are always choices available for growth and expansion of self.

I invite you to share your experience or ask questions in the comments. You can find us on Facebook, Instagram and join our newsletter for health inspirations and tips. My YouTube Channel is also an amazing place to connect and learn.

To our health & wellbeing,

Madeleine

Are Your Chakras Blocked?

Have you ever had a healer tell you that your chakras are blocked? Perhaps you felt something tense up in your body, or you experienced that tightening in your stomach when you had to give a speech. However it comes, we can learn to listen to our bodies and let the message that is hidden underneath come up to the surface and speak to us.

3 Signals from your body that you have a blocked chakra:

  1. Tightness. Sometimes a blocked chakra can feel tight. In the same way a muscle can feel tight, if we know the location of our chakras, we can tune in and feel if they are out of balance. For example, a blocked throat chakra often feels tight. Why does this happen? We could be holding back saying something we really want to say. We could be twisting the truth a bit when we do express ourselves. Or perhaps we simply don’t feel heard.
  2. Discomfort. An imbalance in a chakra can also feel down right uncomfortable. That pang we feel when a loved one is hurtful toward us, or when we don’t feel good enough, can bring about that not so pleasant blockage in our heart chakra. Our heart chakra represents the love we have for ourselves, others and our connection to our bigger/unconditionally loving self.
  3. Knot. Have you ever heard someone say that they feel as though they have a knot in their stomach? That spot just under their ribcage that houses the solar plexus chakra is our will center. It is the place that turns into a fist when someone is trying to control us, or we are doing something we don’t really want to do. You’ve felt this when forced to work over a weekend or if a partner makes you take those dreaded dance lessons. If a chakra feels like a knot you can be sure you have a blockage there that needs to be cleared.

What do we do to clear these blockages?

We can simply sit with ourselves, quiet our mind and place our hands on the area that is screaming out at us, and listen without expectation. It’s that simple. Your bigger self is an expert at relaying the information that is crucial for your conscious evolution. All we need to do is listen to the subtle messages that come up.

Learning how to hone your intuition will make this process much easier. I will share more on different types of intuition in my next blog.

For now, tune in and listen to the signals your emotional guidance system is broadcasting. It doesn’t take over-analyzing or complete stillness, but it does require you to stop, tune in to yourself completely and let go. The messages are always more subtle than we expect. We may think it will sound like a blow horn but in reality it’s more like a wise whisper.

If you need any help clearing those blockages that is my specialty and I’m here to help. There are many avenues, like Master Reiki healing sessions to become aware of beliefs that are running the show and clearing them. Reiki Level I courses are for those who know they are healers themselves, or Trame Vibrational Therapy to reset the nervous system and clear out unresolved emotions. There are many ways up the mountain, I know you will find yours!

If you need guidance on which is the most suited for you take advantage of my complimentary thirty minute phone consultation.

I invite you to share your experience or ask questions in the comments. You can find us on Facebook, Instagram and join our newsletter for health inspirations and tips. My YouTube Channel is also an amazing place to connect and learn.

Wishing you a Happy New Year.

To our health & wellbeing,

Madeleine

Breaking Up is Hard on Your Heart…Literally

When I found out I had fallen in love with a fictitious person over the internet, I was heartbroken and a little humiliated. I started to go back and re-trace my steps. How had I fallen for this scam and was I completely nuts to care for a complete stranger?

It’s not surprising that once we’ve been hurt, we (and our brain) don’t want to feel that pain ever again. Even mentioning a memory can trigger us to feel those painful emotions all over again. So what do we do? We put up a wall around our hearts to protect us from the hurt.

What is a Heart Wall?

A heart wall is just a layer of energy around your heart that was created by all those trapped emotions of rejection, pain and loss. This heart wall serves as a barrier around your heart that acts as a protector against future pain. Although intended as a protective mechanism, it actually isn’t protecting us at all.

The interesting thing I’ve noticed is that when we are hurt we not only close ourselves off from the “bad stuff” but we also block ourselves from receiving all the good feelings as well, like love and appreciation. We lock our heart down so that we don’t feel pain but that blocks us from feeling love too. It’s a two way street.

Why Are We Blocking Ourselves from Love?

So, why do we block ourselves from love when that is the very thing we crave most after a breakup?

It’s our brains’ fault! Our brain wants us to avoid pain and move toward pleasure. Did you know the parts of our brain that process pain light up after a breakup?

“The brain studies show us that romantic rejection hurts just like physical pain, and it is like cocaine addiction.”

So here we are addicted to love and in fear of actual physical pain! No wonder we shut down!

The ironic part is that being in a committed relationship, specifically a marriage, protects our hearts. A Harvard Health article refers to the Framingham Offspring Study where “married men had a 46% lower rate of death than unmarried men”.

Experiences like the one I just went through can make people less open to trusting others but it’s not in our best interest to hide away from the world if it keeps men alive longer.

But what about women? Does being in a happy marriage protect our hearts too?

According to a study by the Journal Heart, it does. The risk of (dying of a heart attack) was significantly higher (42%) among those who had never married.

It looks like being in a happy marriage is protective to our hearts. Not only that, heartbreak can make us shut down our heart connection when we need its guidance most. Our heart is the connection to the other side, to our intuitive, unconscious or bigger self. It holds so much wisdom and comes in handy all day long for those of us who listen. If we shut down because of a heart wall, what are we listening to now? Not our guidance, not ourselves but our fear and pain and who knows where that will lead us?

What are we editing in our experience so that we don’t have to deal with pain from our past?

Like a snowball rolling downhill, our pain only gets bigger and bigger the more we ignore or sweep it into the background.

In order to release it, we need to let go of the past beliefs and actually do the work of our unconditional loving selves to bring back balance.

I’ve seen countless strong yet heartbroken individuals in my practice as a Trame Vibrational Therapist. People are trying to get out of situations where they feel emotionally handcuffed and stuck. After each session we see progress in terms of getting more clarity about a path out and a greater ability to handle stressful situations in a way that honors who they are and what they really want.

Perhaps asking ourselves how we want to feel is a good place to find inspiration to go down that sometimes bumpy road of healing.

I invite you to share your experience or ask questions in the comments. You can find us on Facebook, Instagram and join our newsletter for health inspirations and tips. My YouTube Channel is also an amazing place to connect and learn.

To our health & wellbeing,

Madeleine

References:
Busch, L. Y., Pössel, P., & Valentine, J. C. (2017). Meta-analyses of cardiovascular reactivity to rumination: A possible mechanism linking depression and hostility to cardiovascular disease. Psychological Bulletin, 143(12), 1378-1394.
https://theanatomyoflove.com/the-results/the-rejected-brain/

My Daughter is My Inspiration

It’s not just me. This little lady now 4 years of age touches the hearts of everyone that meets her.  After being in junior kindergarten for two months now, she won Student of the month and a certificate for positive character. I’m not surprised, but there were moments that I doubted her being able to function in a “normal” class setting at all.

As her mom I couldn’t be prouder.

She’s overcome so much to be here today and she’s showing that she is thriving in the world. She went against a 90% chance of not surviving the tubes being taken out of her airway at a week old, she proved she could drink formula when the expectation was that she wouldn’t have a swallow reflex at two weeks of age, she lifted her neck up by herself after testing so weak just days before at a month old.  She continues to amaze me today.

Zoe was born this way. She is ridiculously positive, empathetic and always wants to help out even when you wish she didn’t. Where most kids wouldn’t tuck your scarf into your jacket to make sure you don’t get cold, she does. She’s incredible. I wonder how many of us were born this way only to have our instincts doubted, ignored or conditioned out of us.

We are all born these perfectly imperfect open hearted light beings with intuition and a keen sense of what we like and what we absolutely don’t like.

What happens to these loving and open versions of ourselves? What starts to poke holes in that self-concept or awareness?

Trauma is an interesting thing. Something I’ve learnt recently from my coach is that people that have experienced a trauma stay that age emotionally.

Shocking isn’t it? I thought I healed all of that!

I went through depression when I was a teen so basically I’m still 16 years old emotionally!

That explains a lot right?

No but seriously, are we raising our kids to honor those gut feelings, express emotions in a healthy way or talk to them like they deserve a real adult-style explanation or are we telling them this is how it is because I’m the adult and you’re the child?

This “old school” way of raising our kids really scares me. The spanking, the dominance, the lack of understanding. I knew Zoe was way beyond her age when she scolded me for having road rage at the age of 2. She said: “Mommy, stop it!” and she was absolutely right. She may have not understood the words I was saying but she felt the energy of it and she didn’t like it and had no problem communicating that to me. By the way, now I road rage in French and calm the whole thing down both for me and Zoe.

We forget that we live in energy soup. Sometimes just being near us can aggravate a child. I know when I’m antsy, Zoe gets antsy and can’t calm down to go to bed. Energy is contagious for us sensitive folk.  Babies and kids feel everyone’s emotions. Even if you don’t share it with them, they know. They may not be able to communicate it but it’s so simple the emotions just come right in. They may be reacting to your emotional state. It’s quite shocking to see it in action but I see it again and again.

I think we need to be aware of that. Give our kids more credit and nurture being ‘in tune’ with what they need. Sometimes it is a matter of “eat your vegetables” but sometimes it’s really not. Knowing the difference is somewhat of an art that I may never perfect but I will keep trying.

So, when your child is infuriating you and you want to pull your hair out, remember not to worry because nothing is under control. Take it one moment at a time.   Be gentle with them and yourself. Don’t expect perfection and remember to take a video at least once a month because you will miss those little nuances of behavior when they learn the correct way to pronounce truck.

~ Madeleine

Apana Bodywork

Anxiety is Living in the Moment that Hasn’t Come

anxietySo here I am doing my work at my favorite place Covernotes Café in Newmarket and I overhear this couple having a conversation that I am quite in awe of. The gentleman says: “anxiety is living in the moment that hasn’t come, It’s anticipating the moment. Not living in the moment”. Whoa!

How amazing is that?! What an incredible insight into anxiety and into myself.

Living in Anxiety’s Moment

I struggle with worry at times. I want things to be perfect and they’re never going to be and I get hung up on the details. At other times I can easily go with the flow accepting that life is messy and things will work themselves out.  Living in the moment is why I do Qi Gong. It’s why I strive to search the world over…ok Toronto and surrounding area to find healers and mystics that will help me make the next step in my evolution in consciousness.

It’s the most important thing to me in the world. To grow and live lovingly in each moment without fear or needing to vanish into the wind. Being still. Comfortably still. That is something I have been working on forever it seems. In my healing practice, when clients feel all these feelings of discomfort, anxiety, pain, fear, loneliness I can most definitely relate. It’s not that I have arrived. I probably never will stop trying but it’s that I know how it feels and I’ve learned some tools to help.  To speed the journey through the muck and fear and discomfort to finally revel in love and joy.  My hope is that each individual can be fully and completely supported and heard through their own personal transformation, whatever that looks like for them.

I believe that there is immense power in being heard and being felt.

I believe that a powerful experience can completely change our perspective. Change the Way You Look at Things and the Things You Look at Change. All that can happen in an instant! I wrote this before the amazing Dr. Wayne Dyer crossed over to the other side but it seems even more important now.

Life can feel like hell. Life can also be utterly blissful.

Which have you chosen? What is being done to further your goal? For me, it depends on the day. Sometimes I succeed at going with the flow and other times I struggle against it, resisting the messiness of life.

One thing is for sure, you have the power to make a different choice and there are always infinite choices in front of you if you pause and really let them become clear behind all the fear.

Wishing you all love, peace and joy today and everyday.

~ Madeleine

Apana Bodywork

Healing from Brain Injury: Zoe’s Story

What’s your biggest fear? Mine is public speaking. Yesterday I finally did the presentation on healing brain injury: Zoe’s Story, and it was terrifying…until I started.

I loved how it felt. The possibilities are endless in how people will receive your message and what they will take from it. I love that; the chance to change someone’s perspective.

This brings me to thanking all the family and friends who supported me yesterday evening.  It’s hard to know what to do when someone is going through a challenge and the majority of help is provided by just SHOWING UP.  So thank you all for that!

A friend came up to me after the talk and asked me if I had read Dr. Doidge’s book ‘The Brains Way of Healing’ and I knew what he was referring to.  In the book he mentions the PONS modulator that is placed in a persons’ mouth that sends electrical impulses through two cranial nerves to the brain to hopefully send those signals throughout the brain so it can rewire itself.

I actually called Dr. Doidge to ask him when that would be available. He said it was in trials in the U.S. military and expected it to be available to the public in about two years.

I believe that given the right stimulation that the brain can heal itself. I also believe that the willingness of the spirit to support this healing is crucial. That willingness is not under our control.  We can support, provide stimulation, be open to all healing modalities that may provide what is needed to heal but ultimately it is up to the person if they are going to heal. This is not a conscious decision but one made on a soul level.

Disturbingly enough, doctors will never provide you with any suggestions of healers, naturopaths, Muscle Activation specialists, Posturologists, brain gym and treatment options like the Anat Baniel method.  All these modalities have the potential to help you in your quest to find a solution to the challenges your child faces. In my case it was my newborn baby and I couldn’t of felt more alone.

Luckily I am in the healing profession so I could use some of my skills on my daughter but what about all the parents who are busy working professionals and don’t know about all these alternative healing modalities that could be useful?

I’ve learnt that many rehabilitation/healing modalities have a place, it’s just matter of figuring out what is appropriate and when.

To all parents of kids with brain injury: Listen to your doctor and then do what you feel is right for your child. Listen to your intuition and trust it above and beyond anything else that is said to you.

Jumpstart Your Muscles!

Have you tried various traditional therapies such as exercise, stretching, creams, or hot/cold treatments to help you feel better yet nothing has provided you with long-lasting relief?

Jumpstart Your Muscles

It is too easy to blame age for all of your problems but where the muscles are concerned there are many gains to be made. Picture this: your car battery is dead, so when you turn the key the car will not start. This is the same premise as expecting your muscles to contract and stabilize your joints when they have lost their connection – they simply will not ‘start’ either. Just as the car will not start until we use booster cables to jumpstart the battery, muscles similarly need to be jumpstarted with MAT in order to get them to contract and start adding stability and strength to the body and in turn decrease tightness and discomfort.

We use a gentle hands-on pressure to activate the muscles and we recommend daily corrective exercises that will increase the tolerance of these muscles to withstand the stresses of daily life and your specific exercise regime.

When you jumpstart a car battery, you need to operate the vehicle for a time to ensure that the battery is fully charged. This is very similar to what we do with Muscle Activation Techniques (MAT). The goal is to build up the strength of your weak links (muscles) over time and get your whole body functioning optimally.

Where MAT Can Help

Here are just some of the situations where MAT can generate positive and successful results:

  • you have seen some results with other therapies but you are not quite in top condition
  • you still cannot roll over and/or sleep on your ‘bad’ shoulder
  • when you do a certain exercise at the gym, you feel discomfort for the next day or two
  • when you walk for any period of time/distance, your feet are in a lot of pain/discomfort
  • you cannot sleep because you just cannot get comfortable
  • you have discomfort in your back when you bend to pick up something from the floor
  • you cannot lift your grandchildren, children, or even a bag of potatoes without feeling some pain in your neck, back, shoulder, and/or hips
  • you were in a car accident a few years ago and are now feeling its effects on your body
  • you have scoliosis, kyphosis, or lordosis and you want to manage it as best you can
  • you want to work on the strength of your feet so you do not need to rely on orthotics
  • you believe the limitations in movement in your neck are related to your daily headaches

Apana Bodywork will answer all your questions and you will be guided by a qualified specialist on how to optimize the healing process from the first session through each subsequent session.