My Daughter is My Inspiration
It’s not just me. This little lady now 4 years of age touches the hearts of everyone that meets her. After being in junior kindergarten for two months now, she won Student of the month and a certificate for positive character. I’m not surprised, but there were moments that I doubted her being able to function in a “normal” class setting at all.
As her mom I couldn’t be prouder.
She’s overcome so much to be here today and she’s showing that she is thriving in the world. She went against a 90% chance of not surviving the tubes being taken out of her airway at a week old, she proved she could drink formula when the expectation was that she wouldn’t have a swallow reflex at two weeks of age, she lifted her neck up by herself after testing so weak just days before at a month old. She continues to amaze me today.
Zoe was born this way. She is ridiculously positive, empathetic and always wants to help out even when you wish she didn’t. Where most kids wouldn’t tuck your scarf into your jacket to make sure you don’t get cold, she does. She’s incredible. I wonder how many of us were born this way only to have our instincts doubted, ignored or conditioned out of us.
We are all born these perfectly imperfect open hearted light beings with intuition and a keen sense of what we like and what we absolutely don’t like.
What happens to these loving and open versions of ourselves? What starts to poke holes in that self-concept or awareness?
Trauma is an interesting thing. Something I’ve learnt recently from my coach is that people that have experienced a trauma stay that age emotionally.
Shocking isn’t it? I thought I healed all of that!
I went through depression when I was a teen so basically I’m still 16 years old emotionally!
That explains a lot right?
No but seriously, are we raising our kids to honor those gut feelings, express emotions in a healthy way or talk to them like they deserve a real adult-style explanation or are we telling them this is how it is because I’m the adult and you’re the child?
This “old school” way of raising our kids really scares me. The spanking, the dominance, the lack of understanding. I knew Zoe was way beyond her age when she scolded me for having road rage at the age of 2. She said: “Mommy, stop it!” and she was absolutely right. She may have not understood the words I was saying but she felt the energy of it and she didn’t like it and had no problem communicating that to me. By the way, now I road rage in French and calm the whole thing down both for me and Zoe.
We forget that we live in energy soup. Sometimes just being near us can aggravate a child. I know when I’m antsy, Zoe gets antsy and can’t calm down to go to bed. Energy is contagious for us sensitive folk. Babies and kids feel everyone’s emotions. Even if you don’t share it with them, they know. They may not be able to communicate it but it’s so simple the emotions just come right in. They may be reacting to your emotional state. It’s quite shocking to see it in action but I see it again and again.
I think we need to be aware of that. Give our kids more credit and nurture being ‘in tune’ with what they need. Sometimes it is a matter of “eat your vegetables” but sometimes it’s really not. Knowing the difference is somewhat of an art that I may never perfect but I will keep trying.
So, when your child is infuriating you and you want to pull your hair out, remember not to worry because nothing is under control. Take it one moment at a time. Be gentle with them and yourself. Don’t expect perfection and remember to take a video at least once a month because you will miss those little nuances of behavior when they learn the correct way to pronounce truck.
~ Madeleine
Apana Bodywork
