Paralysis of Perfection
Do you ever feel like you need to be perfect? Like you haven’t “figured it all out” yet. And even when you reach your goal you still don’t feel that sense of accomplishment.
Many people wake up each day judging themselves because of what they look like, comparing themselves to others or being hard on themselves for not measuring up to their own high standards.
The obsession with perfection isn’t something you’re dealing with alone. It’s a tendency that is rising in our youth today. According to the study published in the journal Psychological Bulletin:
“more recent generations of college students reported significantly higher scores for each form of perfectionism than earlier generations.”
We compare ourselves to filtered idyllic pictures on social media or to a friend or colleague who, from the outside, seems to ‘have it all’ and then we feel ashamed, isolated or even depressed and anxious when we don’t measure up.
Do you ever feel it’s easier to mask or push down those emotions so that you don’t have to deal with them? Is talking about an issue difficult for you? Vulnerability can be scary and sometimes we simply don’t have the words to adequately describe what we’re feeling. The truth is we all have moments, days or even years spent in survival mode. When we really aren’t living our ‘best life’ as Oprah loves to say.
We’re Not Here to Be Perfect
The truth is we’re not here to be perfect. We’re here, in my opinion, to discover who we really are and be that out in the world. We don’t have all the answers and who are we to judge ourselves as we figure that out? Isn’t that why we’re here; to learn, grow and find out what gives us the most satisfaction?
Isn’t it time to let go of perfection and be true to ourselves? We learn by screwing up and the more we resist the mess, the longer it will take to learn that lesson.
I believe that if we pay attention to what our emotions are trying to tell us and are aware of our effect on those around us, we can make little refinements each day, not to be perfect but to be ourselves with complete acceptance, warts and all.
When I see clients in my practice increase their self-awareness, soften their expectations of themselves, it helps me to deepen my belief that change is always possible, that no one is stuck in their perfection and that there are always choices available for growth and expansion of self.
I invite you to share your experience or ask questions in the comments. You can find us on Facebook, Instagram and join our newsletter for health inspirations and tips. My YouTube Channel is also an amazing place to connect and learn.
To our health & wellbeing,
Madeleine
