The Masks We Wear
I think we all expect ourselves to be “perfect” in our own ways and then we hide when were not. At least I know I do. I’m ashamed that I’m feeling low or haven’t succeeded at something and I hide away in small and sometimes bigger ways. It got me thinking that perhaps we all put on a mask to a certain extent. Some more than others. We do it to feel strong when we’re feeling vulnerable because we’re flawed and we don’t want others to see our spots.
We all have the same Six Core Wounds:
- I am unlovable
- I am unworthy
- I am bad
- I am powerless
- I’m not safe
- I am alone
You may wonder how that can possible be. You’ve heard that we’re all connected and this is true in our wounds as well. We share in the collective consciousness of the planet. Your fears are the fears of the planet. If we all have a different mix of the six wounds so chances are your neighbor or friend has the same fears as you. None of these are true yet we all share them.
So if we’re all basically the same, why are we hiding from each other?
I remember I was at diner with a group of fellow students and the gentleman beside me told me he wrote poetry. I thought: “Cool! Can I read one?” He was super embarrassed and said: “I couldn’t”. So I started telling him my theory about how we’re all basically the same so why would you feel shy to share? Turns out I wasn’t that convincing and I didn’t get to read his poem after all but it confirmed my original belief that we hide from one another.
We all put on a mask, yet we pretend we’re not. Why are we trying to hide our true selves?
We’re all different and lovely in our own wacky way. I am particularly fond of my rose gold high tops but my husband thinks I’m stuck in the ‘90’s whereas my daughter bites her nails like a stockbroker on the trading floor. No one says anything, we just observe and move on. How boring would it be if we all tried to be the same? Our quirks are what makes each of us so interesting. We often think our quirks are negative but they bring such joy to others.
I actually tried to be “normal” in University. I lasted about a week. I was being teased for saying silly things and so I decided: “No more!” I was going to be totally normal from now on. I didn’t get made fun of but it was the most boring week of my life.
Some of us have mastered that being ourselves in all our glory is okay. It’s more than okay, it’s a privilege that only you have!
If you won’t be yourself, who will?
I’m sitting here at the age of 36 just now figuring out that I am worthy and it is okay to fully be myself. More than okay, it makes my life feel blissful. I am saying the things I want to say, telling the jokes I think are funny and doing what I’m passionate about for a living and loving every minute of it.
Only you can give yourself permission to be yourself. To live your life the way you are happy and fulfilled to live it. No one else will come along and say: “Hey, you don’t like that, why are you doing it?”
When we’re not ourselves we bury our real thoughts, emotions and words. We ignore them and stuff them down. They accumulate inside of us. The pain may not be apparent right away but with each day, each opportunity missed it will drain instead of inspire you.
If we all have the same fears and we’re all connected then there is absolutely no reason to hide your unique genius and quirks. It will light up the people around you to see you love and accept yourself and inspire them to do the same.
Pick and choose which wounds resonate with you and flip them around. You’ll be amazed at how simple turning these around can be!
Simply telling yourself each morning:
- I am lovable
- I am worthy
- I am good
- I am powerful
- I am safe
- I am surrounded by love and support
With love & gratitude,
Madeleine Dasilva
