I may not have gone to war but I felt like a warrior. I had dreams that woke me sweating and gasping for breath. I was living but I wasn’t really living. I knew I wasn’t in a good state but I didn’t know that I could be experiencing a form of PTSD.   Does this feeling sound familiar? I hope not but if it does…this is what changed everything for me.

I’ve tried writing about the way my daughter was born about a million times now. Every time I stop. I just get stuck. I can’t finish it. In this context it is to help others that have not lost someone but are going through all the same grief as if they had.  It’s called anticipatory grief and I specialize in helping people past the toughest times in their life.

I believe we can heal on all levels and that will ultimately help us be and relate to others with more and more love.  I also believe that even though life can throw us some serious challenges, we can come through it better than we were before, More connected, more empathetic, more open, more loving and healthier on all levels.

Are you caring for a mother with Alzeimers disease?  Are you married to a partner with a terminal illness? In my case a mother who is caring for a child who is expected to slowly die. None of these situations are easy. You have to go on doing all the things you normally do because they need you but there is this massive sense that nothing is okay. It is soul rattling. My heart goes out to anyone going through something similar and it is my hope that those people will ask for help because the sick person gets all the help and the support person is left to deal with it on their own.

I was lost.

I felt as a new mom that all of my friends were so far away, living a totally different life. Even when a friend did reach out, I didn’t know how to be close with them. When anyone would ask how my daughter was doing I would just say: “she’s great!” It wasn’t the truth, it was the only thing I could get out of my mouth in order to stay positive. For friends of someone going through something difficult you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be there.  People naturally want to help but are often too scared that they will say or do the wrong thing

It’s not about saying all the right things and getting approval, it’s about being there. Imperfectly. There is a line of empathy cards for awkward moments that say things like: “I’m so sorry you’re sick. I promise I won’t try to sell you on some random treatment I found on the internet”(emilymcdowell.com/collections/empathy-cards) .

So often we make it about us, but it has nothing to do with us. It isn’t personal.

Often those that are going through a trauma like this are depressed or anxious but it’s hard to know what is the situation versus what is you. After all who can be happy while going through this? You may not expect to feel like yourself and over time you slowly lose who you are as a result. It’s kind of like aging. When you have aches and pains in your body it’s so easy to say: Oh well, I’m just getting older but a lot of those aches and pains could be alleviated or prevented. Same goes for someone’s mental state during a trauma, they don’t expect to feel happy or grateful, so they let it go and over time, they may stop expecting to be happy.

My mission is to help people that are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder so that they can reclaim who they are and feel empowered to take care of themselves again.

If you feel like you’ll never feel like yourself again there is so much help out there.

On my end I’ve tried and felt amazing results from daily Qi Gong practice, La Trame Vibrational Therapy, Reiki Healing, Life Activation and most recently Reconnection Healing. That’s my route. The healing route. Maybe you’re more comfortable with talk therapy. In that case I would suggest a therapy that deals with the subconscious mind because, in my experience, the only way to get beyond the surface of the issues and make real change is to go deeper than the conscious mind.

Whatever you choose, it doesn’t much matter to me as long as you seek help and get the support you need to feel like yourself again.

With the deepest love in my heart I wish healing for all those going through a trauma like I have.